While scrolling through instagram, has it ever crossed your mind how some girls have so many friends? Do they buy them like Instagram followers, did they belong to a Sorority in college, or are they just really that likable? I have always kept a tight circle, my best friend and I have been attached since birth and my other best friend is my cousin. My friend’s circle is small and neatly picked, and I’ve always preferred it that way . So when it came to my “Bridal Party”, it shouldn’t come as a shock that I kept it small and close to me.
My term ” Bride Tribe ” came while I was planning my surprise bridal announcement. I was at a table with one of my coordinators when she asked ” okay so bridesmaids”? Maids? That term sounded so forced and so undermining; Bridal Party just seemed basic. I looked up from my phone where I was doodling an idea and responded: Tribe, BrideTribe! Why the term tribe? Well, over the course of my life these girls have been my own human shield for me. They have been there for me through all stages of my life good and bad, especially my Maid and Matron.
Picking a bridal party is hard. It requires a ton of thought not only because you don’t want for one person to get their panties in a bunch but because it’s a huge responsibility to be a bridesmaid. Is it an honor? I guess depending on who you ask, but really it’s important for the bride to have a solid foundation and that comes from her “maids”.
When picking your tribe out, remember that it’s not about The Who’s in now, but who’s never left. Think about a time you were crying over ice cream knees deep in emotion over an ex boyfriend and who sat next to you or on the phone: that girl is your day one and who should stand with you.
Remember the time you needed a buddy to come with you to a last minute fashion show and your girl showed up with a broken shoe to be your plus one… she’s also your girl.
We all have these ride or die girls who you know will be there to help you out for the next year plus before your big day. You shouldn’t feel obligated to choose someone based on family, work, or even a new friend. A bridetribe is a select group of people willing to put their own lives aside for a few months and be there for you.
Keep your bridal party small, the less opinions the better! Too many girls equal way to much drama and you just don’t need that kind of negativity in your life during your special time. You need a select few to drink champagne, and laugh with you, not cause you a headache.
Lastly, be considerate. There are some people you would love to be a part of your day but you may know they aren’t right for the job. That’s okay! We all have those friends who have kids, are in a different financial space, live in a different state, etc. Your wedding is stressful enough on you and if someone isn’t happy to be in it that causes them and you a headache .
I know this choice is hard especially if you’re the girl with so many friends, but please don’t make this harder than it is! Remember to keep it small and choose those who have been your day one girl!
This PSA is always for you. Keeping your groomsmen small and close to you will eliminate your headache as well. It’s not all about the bride, a groom also needs his best buds to hold him down for the big day.