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15 Things You Realize When You’re Planning Your Wedding

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  1. People will ask if you’re excited — and become concerned when you automatically cringe with anxiety — because weddings are expensive and thinking about it hurts your soul.
  2. You’re pretty much ready to go on your honeymoon when the wedding is still a few months out. Screw the wedding; just pass go and head straight for the tropical beach.
  3. People want to have deep, meaningful conversations with you about your color choices. Several people will probably think your color choices suck; this is apparently a big deal.
  4. You realize weddings pretty much force you to rank your friends by degrees of importance. This can get really awkward.
  5. You really just want everyone to give you money at the reception. SOS.
  6. You know that people will still have bad things to say about your wedding planning/decorations despite the fact that they get free food and alcohol.
  7. You then realize that you’re pretty much spending a ton of money on a free party for everyone else.
  8. People seriously seem to expect you to have a substantial knowledge of color and flower meanings. Was there a college course I missed or something?
  9. You discover the power of bachelorette parties and free alcohol. You’ll also seriously consider wearing your cheesy ‘Bride to Be’ sash every time you go out for the free shots.
  10. You and your fiancé become boring hermit people who make excuses to not go out because ‘fun money’ now has to pay for things like flowers and a violinist. Because you’re classy. You begin to understand why engaged people never go out.
  11. Diet and exercise has taken on a whole new meaning. You also fully plan to eat everything you see on your honeymoon.
  12. You realize there is a major correlation to the closeness of your wedding date and how much you fantasize about eloping.
  13. Inevitably, someone you did not invite will ask you how they can RSVP for your wedding.
  14. You and your fiancée WILL get into arguments about things like seating arrangements, decoration choices, and what songs you want to play for what ‘special wedding moment.’ There will be blood spilt, or maybe just wine.
  15. At least you and your fiancée are in it together – even at two in the morning, when you’re licking the envelopes of last minute invitations you forgot and everything in your house is mysteriously covered in glitter.

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